I don't want to turn this into some religious post or get up on some soap box, I am just kind of venting here for all those true faithful women who are over looked because some crazy ass bitch messed up a really good guy with her craziness and drama. We were created to help men to walk beside them, to love them.
In my life time I have seen so many different stages of how we as women are supposed to be. And when we get it twisted because we are watching what everyone else is doing, we lose sight of loving our men like they need and want. Yes, yes we have our wants and needs too. However, I think that is the problem. We get so wrapped up in us and we get selfish and don't give the right kind of attention to our men. Now I am a woman and I am only reporting on this side based on what I see, experienced and wrongfully done. Like I said I know there are men out there that have to work on themselves. But let's bring this back to the women and just focus on what we should do rather than trying to fix them.
As a single woman I have mixed feelings about the whole dating scene. I kind of like my life. I can do what I want when I want and I don't have to report to anyone. Yet at the end of the day I don't have anyone either. I am not the cuddly type. Yet I want to watch the football or Hockey game with someone. I want to go to the beach with some one some times. Or have some one at home just to not feel alone all the time. But like I said I am content on my own too.
Back and Forth
We were once told we need to be stronger than men. And that we are just as good as men and anything they can do we can do better. Then we look to the church and we are told we are the weaker sex and it is ok. Then society comes back and wants to empower us and rise above men like they are holding us back. Then we are supposed to be soft and sweet and cook and clean and raise the children. Then the men started staying home and women were the ones working and then it was back to the men going back to work... It just goes back and forth. It's exhausting. I am not saying what is the right way and what is the wrong way. However we do need to find the way that works for us and our situation and stick with it.
Give and Take
Relationships now a days are so hard because everyone is trying to please themselves and not willing to give to the other person. Give and take has to have some kind of a balance. There are some men out there that will be up front with a women and tell her exactly how it is and that's it. Yet we as women some times get it in our heads that we are the only girl in the world and focus all our energy on trying to change someone or some things about him. Right there... STOP! We have all done it. We are thinking in our heads "I really really really like this guy and he's cute or handsome (whatever) and he's so nice. But this one thing... Oh no we're going to work on that. Oh and this too he's going to have to change this because this isn't how I roll. I am not living like that." Yet he has already made it clear how he is. Plain and simple ladies stop trying to change men. If you can't accept them for who they are then don't get involved. Don't think if you do A, B and C that he is just going submit to your will and ways. These men that will be straight with you and tell you just how to love them and be with them, they are the good ones. Now I'm not saying that all of them are good for you. But they are honest enough with themselves and with you to allow you to make an informed decision.
Respect
Respect your man, and yes he should respect you too. Men were created first... why? To lead, that's why. If you are making a decision together then do just that. And when your in public listen to what he is saying. If you are trying to make a decision and he says he does not care and the choice is yours than make the choice. Now if he never makes a decision then that could be a bad thing. The point is if he wants you to make the decision some times, then respect him enough to do it. Never belittle him to anyone. Do not put him down to your friends and family or to his friends or family. He should look like a king. Your issues are just that. Concerns in your relationship should be dealt with between you two. Don't go dragging your dirty laundry through the streets. Plain and simple it is disrespectful.
Honor
Honor him! If we listen we will hear what he wants and expects. If your guy is a sports fan, he's going to tell you and he is going to have rituals, he is going to want to stay in or go to wherever the game is on and watch. I can't explain it but if you are a sports fan like me you will get it. And I don't mean you girls out there that are ban wagoner's that are only into sports because your guy is. No I am talking to the ladies who like to watch and enjoy a game... whatever the sport is. You get it. If you are not in to sports then don't date a sports fanatic.... simple. If your guy is into cars or traveling or wine tasting and you are not, then again stay away. Find a guy that has similar interests. It sounds simple and like common sense, but you know who you are... you women who think you can look past all that because this guy is the one. Because again what you are not saying is "I am going to tolerate this for a little while and then I am going to start making my demands when I get him hooked. That is not honor that is entrapment. In Spanish you would be called a tramposa. Don't do it.
Cherish
Cherish him... Now I don't mean drawing hearts on your notebook type of stuff. Really hold him dear to your heart. He is a soul with feelings and when you are going to dress up to go to work every day and only give him the no make up and sweats all the time, well you are kind of telling him I got you and you just have to deal with what ya got. Nope! If he is near and dear to your heart then you will want to do those things more for him than the public, or the strangers that you deal with. He should get your best not just what's left over. Now calm down, I know we all have those days where we are just done. But not every day is like that, and if it is that is a whole other issue you both need to work on together. Don't let your job or your other relationships come between you. You need to work together on this stuff. No one gets to sit back and go on auto pilot. But again if he is truly to be cherished by you, then you won't let the outside things come in between you.
Speak his Language
Learn his love language. Figure out how he receives love and practice giving him love that way. Don't ever ever ever ever try to make him jealous. That is anti love and it speaks only to your selfishness. We all do it and not always intentionally, but we get in that mode of " well I did this for him and he didn't even notice, so I'm going to get all crazy and go do this and when the other guys are hitting on me then he will notice me." No, un uh, stop it!!!! Stop trying to get attention from him and love him the way he needs to be loved. If he doesn't love you back or at least try and learn your love language and work on his end of the relationship, then you can make an informed decision. You know, like an adult. Like a grown woman. You know we do that because bad attention is better than no attention. Trust me I am speaking to myself as well. I have posted the meme that says "If your a real man then you will act this way..." Just an example. I read through all those memes and some of them are true and then some of them are the stupidest things I have ever read. Stop labeling and telling other people how to be. All you can work on is you and if you can't be with someone because of how they are then don't be with them.
Accept
Accept him... Is that redundant? No not really. If he doesn't want to be with you or he just wants to be friends than that's it. He is not going to make an effort to be anything more. Make an informed decision. Get to know him. Don't date. Just get to know somebody before you commit. Don't get in his bed! It's over at that point. That's all it was based on. He knows more about you the first time you climb in his bed than you will ever realize. If it's love it will wait. If it is "I don't wanna be lonely" it will fade because you have just made yourself an option. Trust me, it's way better to be the choice.
Sorry Guys
So in a sense I am sorry to all you awesome men out there that have been jaded by us crazy women. We can do better. Can I get a do over? This is what I got for now. I could go on and on. But I just don't want to. Where is that damn bus? Stay well and be kind.
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