I have ben doing these little random post on my Facebook page called "Confessions of an Attention Whore." Lets face it we all like attention and the thing about it is, depending on where you are in life the type of attention does not matter. Meaning positive or negative. I like both I have recently discovered about myself.
I have recently moved back home and I am trying to get acclimated to the small town life again. It is surreal to be home. It is funny though, I couldn't wait to leave and see new things and live in a new place. Well now I just want to be here. I have had offers to come back to Florida and I have had offers to move to other states as well. The thing is I truly love my home town. I never thought I would but I guess I always did. Driving through it and being in it gives me a sense of pride. I desire to be a part of the community and to add to it. There are still a lot of small minded people here and a lot of people who didn't like me because I didn't have the right last name or come from money. But there is a lot of people I grew up with, worked for, worked beside, remained friends with or even have reconnected with that like me for me. They are the ones who really matter and the ones that I concern myself with. The few good people actually seem like a lot more than the bad ones.
The funny thing was when I came back everyone came out of the woodwork and wanted to hang out or reconnect. It was very overwhelming but it makes one feel good to have that positive energy and experience. Like I said I like attention. As you may or may not know I am single and have no children. Some may know a lot about my past and some may know very little. Being home has put me on even more of a self discovery and one day I might even write a book just to put it out there so those who actually want the whole story can have it. But for today we will stick to this little blog that no one reads.
Love and attention. That is a combination topic for some and for others it goes hand and hand. For me it is one. I have been in love once truly but I am hesitant to say that because I was in love with who he said he was. My type is simple. I like "The Busy Man". I like to do my own thing and at the end of the day be there for him and do things for him. I am all about pleasing my man. I am a combination of old fashioned and goal oriented. I will cook, clean, take care of children, and so much more; and all I want in return is a few hours to myself a day and someone who is only having sex with me. And that includes all forms of sexual activity for those who like to define sex only as penetration. Sorry if this is to real for you, I don't have a filter. Yes I want love and respect as well but my point is I am not a rule setter and I'm not the one to demand anything. I just want his attention at the end of the day.
Now some of you are saying well there's got to be more. But not really. I am willing to give it all just to be a part of something. I don't want to be off doing my own thing for long. I have had serious relationships and neither of them have been a sort of togetherness. I have always been expected to do my own thing so they could do their own thing. That is fine to an extent. But there was no coming together at all. Separate bedrooms separate lives separate everything. I was not a part of them and they didn't want to be part of me. I had a friend with benefits relationships, but with the title of wife. I want to be there for some one at the end of the day. I want someone to please and someone to protect me. And for this attention whore I hope it is out there.
